HAPPY BIRTHDAY PAT!!!!!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY PAT!!!!!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY PAT!!!!!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY PAT!!!!!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY PAT!!!!!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, PAT!!!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY PAT!!!!!!

Pat's CD makes local news

Woodstock Villager May 20, 2012

Pomfret School continues to remember Pat.  The spring edition of the Pomfret School Bulletin ran the following notice of his new CD.

At long last, Pat's CD, has been released.  It was designed by Libby and me, but most importantly, it was reviewed by musical friends who taught and loved him.  It's available on his web site at CD Baby:

http://www.cdbaby.com/cd/patrickwood

The digital version can be downloaded, but I highly recommend the hard copy because of the tributes.  I asked many to comment.  All replied, and their stories brought him back again.  Even if you have heard his music before, you will enjoy their memories, including a history and homage from Pat's first teacher Ann Warde, along with many who played with him.  As Ann implied, you didn't really teach Pat, you just let him take you for the ride of your life.

The CD includes a tribute from alternative rapper M C Lars, Pat’s roommate at Stanford, who wrote a song about Pat called “Twenty-Three.”  “I met Pat my freshman year and instantly was captivated by his sense of humor and intelligence and great spirit.  I miss him so much and wish I could have done something to prevent his passing... but none of us knew how serious it was.  That’s the pernicious nature of depression…”  The video, sponsored by the American Federation for Suicide Prevention, is available on:  http://mclars.com/site/activism.

What is this CD about?  It's about Pat's legacy as an exhilarating young man, who devoured music and math and soared through life, but who could not escape the ravages of depression.  It’s about his triumph and achieving the height of humanity, but also about the very real depth of his soul.  You can hear it in the intensity of his music.  There’s the lift of “Aufswung” (soaring) and the isolation in Des Abends (in the evenings).  It’s a reminder that no matter how capable we appear on the outside, everyone is vulnerable.  His music speaks to the highs and lows of life, the virtuosity but also the gravity that comes with passion.  Even though Pat did not survive, the CD sends a message of hope that those who are victims of suicide will be remembered for embracing humanity.  They fought pain without hope of relief, and they deserve our understanding.  


Proceeds will go to Pat's Scholarship at Pomfret School.  We give $1000 a year to a day student from northeastern Connecticut, who has high academic qualifications, but we are hoping to raise much more.  Pat received so much help from Pomfret, and we want to pass that legacy on to future “Pat Wood Scholars.”  Previous winners include:  Hannah Leo, Pomfret School Class of 2011, Isabelle Lofquist ‘12, Zachary Bellerose ‘12, Harrison Schroder ‘13, Daniel Kellaway ‘14, and Cead Jones ‘15

The CD was remastered by Pomfret’s own Mark Thayer of Signature Sounds.  Mark really brought out the highlights and guided the process from original audio files to the polished final results.  Most importantly, he shared a sensitivity about the importance of preserving Pat’s music.  It had to be perfect, and Mark made sure of that.  Copies are available in local stories including Wonderland Books, Pomfret Spirit Shop, the Pomfret School Book Store and Advancement Office, Martha’s Herbary, Celebrations, Pizza 101, and the Vanilla Bean,

Although Pomfret School has been in the forefront of gay issues for some time, I just recently discovered an insightful article about their gay-friendly campus.  In 2009 the school paper, called The Pontefract after the school's namesake in England, questioned whether Pomfret was fully tolerant.  Here are the students' responses.   

Pomfret School Remembers Pat

Pomfret School was kind enough to run a story of the scholarship established in his memory. The following appeared in the fall 2011 Pomfret School Bulletin.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY PAT!!!

Media Coverage of Pat

Two local newspapers explained more about Caed Jones, this year's winner of Pat's scholarship to Pomfret School.


The Norwich Bulletin July 31, 2011



The Putnam Town Crier August 11, 2011

A Student Who Cared

Two more articles recognize the student who wrote them, as well as Pat. Sara Markes was a shy, bubbling eighth-grader when she entered Rectory School several years ago. Contradictory as that may sound, it described her ability to be soft spoken but bursting with curiosity and indignation at the same time. She felt a kinship with Pat. She cared deeply about everything. She would rush into newspaper class, talking faster than I could understand about injustice. The result was two gutsy articles about tolerance for gays. She was the first to write what everyone knew in their hearts but rarely admitted. She was a fighter for goodness, including Patrick.

The Effect of Pat in School

Pat's death has affected people who didn't know him. I see it in my school. Kids know that he died and seek me out. They have a feeling that I connect on a different level because of him, and they're right. Whether it's bad test day, bad friend day, or just plain things are wrong day, they know I'm a listener. Because of Pat. Sometimes we take it to the next step and write about it for the school paper, and because these articles are so closely tied to Pat, I continue to post a few in hopes that others who mourn can see how his death is changing. It's rippling through those who knew him and those who didn't. It's hurting and yet it's strengthening. It's a whiplash between good and grief. The articles that come out of the bad days are some of the good. Kids are thinking. They're serious. They want tolerance, and they want it for everybody. They inspire me to want it, too, whether it's for eleven-year-olds in Springfield who commit suicide or for anyone feeling lost. The articles are a collaborative search for answers. They are a search for Pat.

Pat's Garden

Lavender Franz Schubert Phlox

Monarchs on the Gay Feather

A friend once told me that butterflies are spirits. If so, maybe Pat has come home.

Pat's Winner

Bob, Caed with parents TJ and Tiffany, and Lisette

The new winner of Pat's Award says so much about Pat. He's kind and loyal. He works incredibly hard, but he doesn't forget what's important. Caed Jones graduated from Pomfret Community School in June, and Bob and I were there to present him with a silver bowl and the honor of academic achievement. Beyond merit, Caed was chosen for his outstanding character, which earned him the respect of his classmates and Pomfret School where he will attend in the fall. He represents the best of Pat's life: goodness beyond greatness. It was our honor to recognize him.

Happy birthday Pat!!!

Bullycide

Pat’s life is still changing. It’s taking on new forms in the way all who knew him think and act and prioritize. For Andrew Nielson, it’s been the life-changing video “Twenty-Three.” For Libby, it’s been acceptance into the best therapy degree program in the country. For Colin, it’s been to pursue a degree in finance, which has required advanced math and programming, much like Pat used to do. For Bob, it’s been to caretake Pat’s grave and the Pomfret cemetery in which he lies. For me, it’s been to learn by writing and doing what I think Pat would value. Mainly, my learning has been through school, working with middle school students, offering a new understanding of their lives and a reordering of my own. Some of those understandings are not really understandings at all, but a drive for a wider take on the world. It’s a drive which includes Pat’s story and which is unfortunately the story of many other young people. It’s a drive motivated by Pat, but also by the students I see every day–their worries, questions, and fears. What about the hurts, the hates, the unknown, and the heartbreaks? Why is there violence? How do you handle pain?

This year, in particular, students asked questions of why young people, their own age, were so despondent that they took their own lives. How did they get to the same point as Pat? How did life look so hopeless that as young as age eleven, they came home from school and died soon afterward? Sometimes their questions were simpler. Why can’t people treat each other fairly?

As the newspaper advisor for my school, I encouraged them to write. Explore those issues, interview others, make sense out of the questions they pondered. But deep down the questions were mine. How could I explore, interview, and make sense? I was the student. I was the one really learning, and I did it alongside my middle school comrades. With a few names deleted, here were some of the results. For easier viewing, click on the article and then magnify.

More on Pat's Scholarship

From the Woodstock Villager, June 2010

One of the benefits of Pat's Scholarship is that it has allowed us to speak publicly about Pat and how we are encouraging his qualities in others. In the four years we've given the award, we've gone to area schools, explained a little about Pat, and praised local students. This year was different. This year we were able to thank two schools, which helped immensely after Pat died. Pomfret and Rectory schools have been paragons of caring institutions. I tried to explain the importance of that concern in my presentation remarks:

Our son Patrick Wood attended Pomfret School on the full four year Peck Scholarship. He was a national merit scholar. He earned perfect SAT’s. He won almost every book award possible. He graduated from Pomfret at the top of his class in 2001, and four years later, graduated from Stanford University with distinction in math.

Yes, Pat was an incredibly brilliant young man. He once said that he knew what it took to get an A. Internally, things just seemed to click and make sense for him. But the best part of him was his humor and his heart. He praised his teachers and mostly his coaches at Pomfret for opening him up to new dimensions of high school, for letting go and trusting himself and his teammates, for seeing how mental support will accomplish physical goals. Unfortunately, that mental support was not enough, and Pat died tragically in 2006.

In the wake of our sadness, the Pomfret and Rectory School response was incalculable. We were quite simply lifted up and pulled along with letters from students and faculty, flowers, food, hugs, tears–all were given constantly and infinitely until the end result was that we are able to stand before you today. The Pomfret and Rectory outpouring was nothing short of a renaissance for our family.

And so it is with deepest gratitude that we now give back to the communities that were so life giving to us. For the first time in the four years of this award, it is our honor and pleasure to give the Patrick Wood Memorial Prize for academic excellence to a Rectory student.

The Patrick Wood Prize has come home.

The recipient is a young man, headed for Pomfret, who closely resembles Pat with superior intellect, humor, and heart. He is a young man, whose passion for excellence was so strong that I worried about him. Homework was pages longer than average. Essays were fastidiously thorough. He devoted himself to each assignment, and he put up with my nagging about writing with power and brevity with a grace that I don’t often see.

But alongside his academic prowess was a humility, humaneness, and good old fashioned hilarity that I hadn’t known since Pat was alive. There is no better student for this award. It is my great privilege to award the Patrick Wood Prize to Daniel Kellaway.